Catcalling & Why It Needs To Stop

June 12, 2015

The amount of times my girlfriends and I or just me by me, have been catcalled by men who are at least I would say 50+ years older than us, is ridiculous. This subject has been brought up a lot in the today’s media and society, there have been experiments of girls walking through cities wearing simple clothing and still getting catcalled. Or the time that the news reporter tried to almost stand up and defend the men that were catcalling and the other news reporter who was a woman went off on him. Catcalling is all around us and that’s inevitable, women do it too, maybe not as much as guys but they do. The question that I have is that, do the men that are catcalling NOT realize how uncomfortable it makes the women feel? Have they not seen the news reports on this, the experiments done the just mere conversation about this topic in general?

This past week I was in town with one of my girlfriends, it was a beautiful day so we decided to walk around and take advantage of that. There were so many instances where men would look at us and not be shy at all about, actually make it quite known. Now the both have us have been looked at before so it wasn’t new to us, we would just ignore it and keep walking minding our own business how most women would. This one particular instance though, this group of men were sitting outside a restaurant and we walked in, we were visiting our friend and she said, “Yeah those guys out there just 100% checked our your ass.” I turned around, if I had to take a somewhat educated guess they were maybe in the 40s. I turned back around and ignored it, when we were leaving though one of them did say “God damn” towards us and I felt so uncomfortable! My friend who works in town told me that he always comes into the store but never looks at her or says anything to her, that made me feel even more uncomfortable. The group of men that did this, were very uncleanly and definitely just creepers objectifying women as they walked pass them. Now I’m not saying that if those men were let’s say in their late 20s and Zac Efron attractive it would’ve been okay, no I would’ve have qualified that as a classic fuckboi (will explain the meaning in another post) move. Just in generally speaking it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Other women have touched on this before like I’ve said earlier, but I do think it’s an important topic to talk about. What right do men have that make them think they can do that to us. If I’m wearing a dress that isn’t fitting I still get catcalled, so what is it, to impress your buddies? Your ego? Or is it just because you have low self esteem about  yourself that you feel the need to do this and make others feel uncomfortable? Because please tell me I would very much like to know. I admit though some women do play up to the catcalling though, they’ll egg men on because they know men will and then make themselves look like the victim. Those women also need to be stopped, you’re doing an injustice to yourself and other women around you.  Again, I’m not saying either that women should feel the need to be less sexy, women should feel sexy and good about themselves all the time. But if you’re one of those women who just do it to get the man’s attention so for that 1.3 seconds you feel like the baddest bitch out there, and then after feel like crap…please stop.

Back long ago we have let men take control, they have been the providers the household, after you asked mom you had to ask dad to make sure it was okay to do something. Women have slowly made a comeback and have taken back that power, and men also are slowly understanding that both men and women can share the power or be very close in sharing. Hopefully by the time my friends and I are old and our kids are in college doing great things, stuff like this won’t be as relevant, but as of now it is and we need to start standing up for ourselves more.

Advertisements

Don’t Say It, Unless You Mean It

June 6, 2015

As a twenty year old woman, maybe girl I should say, my fellow peers and I have some questions that always somehow come across our minds. These questions aren’t ridiculously important but just what girls think when they’re with one another because we fuel each other up. From my experience and I can bet from many others, when you’re with your girlfriends and talk or gossip about certain ideas, you tend to over analyze which turns the conversation into a frenzy.

A particular topic of conversation that always comes up is why men or boys say things that they don’t truly mean. College guys and girls like to have fun, whether it be getting fucked up all the time, going to lectures to listen to professors, autobiographers or scientists or just staying in and watching Netflix and eating popcorn. Nonetheless, college people like to have a fun, which means that in terms of any type of relationships, things can always get very tricky and confusing.

Us women aren’t actively seeking out relationships but it would be nice to have some consistency in our life. Women my age still want to have fun, but they also want to know that there’s a little bit of consistency. Since our generation is known as the hook up generation, we can’t have high expectations because that is not fair for us to put on guys our age. BUT what also isn’t fair is when guys are constantly saying things they don’t mean to one night stand situations or girls they’re “kinda” consistently hooking up with. For example, I went home with this one guy and understood this to be a one night stand type of night, and I was totally fine with that because I wanted it too. Throughout the night he would say things like “can we make this a normal thing”, “will I see you again?”, and “let’s hang out again”. At the time I didn’t believe him but being in this type of situation I just nodded my head because I knew he didn’t actually mean it. The week after when he texted me to meet up at a party I thought, “wow maybe I was wrong”. Once I got to the party, I was completely right in my initial thoughts, there he was up against the wall with another girl. Took me by surprise, we didn’t even talk afterwards ever. Sometimes we run into each on campus and say hi but nothing.

In that particular situation I was terribly confused. Before he invited me over to this party, he friended me on Facebook and added me on SnapChat. He was reaching out to me first before I was because in my mind I didn’t see it a big deal and didn’t think it would lead to anything. He made all the moves before that second night and then when it came down to the night, poof it’s like nothing happened, like he didn’t say any of those things! I got over it like any woman my age would because it was just one of those situations but it’s situations like that, that really make it hard for women my age to understand and somewhat trust guys.

I’m not trying to put all the blame on men, because women are just to be blamed for as well sometimes! Hell I’ve done some pretty questionable bitchy things that I’m not proud of that have really screwed over some guys in my life. What I’m trying to get at though that my girlfriends and I don’t quite understand is, why say all that stuff when obviously you don’t mean it! It gets me thinking that guys think that girls need that little self esteem booster because they think we WANT or NEED them to say those things so it makes US feel better. In all reality though….it’s the 21st century, women understand the concept of a one night stand, they understand the concept of not talking afterwards and just letting it be, we understand the concept of FUN. We are capable of having such fun and we enjoy that type of fun too, what we don’t enjoy is saying something you clearly don’t mean. Guys (as well as women) need to understand how to just say it how it is, don’t sugar coat it! If you don’t want to say those things at the end of the night then don’t, it’s not like us women are searching for you to say it! And ladies, if you’re going to put yourself in this type of situation….don’t expect it! For crying out loud, it’s a one night stand, the definition is within the title!

This post is probably me just ranting and I’m still trying to get the hang of blogging in general, but this specific topic is one that really should be addressed to men, boys, women, girls, everyone really. Don’t say something unless you truly mean it, otherwise you should keep your mouth shut.

Emma Stone

A Focus on ‘Places and Languages that Don’t See Much Movement into English’

Arabic Literature (in English)

I was skeptical when Darf Publishers relaunched “with a focus on Arabic literature in translation” in 2013:

darf1Back in 2013, American University in Cairo Press (AUCP) had been upping their marketing game, Bloomsbury Qatar Foundationg Publishing (BQFP) was about to re-awake from its year and a half of slumber, Dar Safi was soon to launch, and houses like Interlink, Archipelago, Saqi, Syracuse University Press and others continued to bring out strong Arabic literature in translation.

How could their possibly be a place for Darf, the English imprint of the Libyan publishing house Dar Fergiani?

Two years in, there’s nothing flashy to make Darf, run by Managing Director Ghassan Fergiani, stand out. And yet they do stand out, as a house that’s developed a small list of well-chosen, well-translated books, largely from writers who have been excluded from Arabic- and English-literary conversations. These are not writers from centers of Arab publishing like Egypt and Lebanon…

View original post 1,100 more words

Hello world!

June 5, 2015

I have never blogged before, but have highly considered it in the past year or so. I didn’t see the point in blogging really because I thought only people who thought outstanding ideas and voiced their outstanding ideas were truly the ones who were creative and worth reading. Although I have come to the conclusion that blogging is a therapy for most people, whether the intention is to share knowledge, truths or opinions with the public, to somehow gain a type of sympathy and attention, or for the simplest of terms, for fun. Blogging is a new way to feel closer with people or to feel like there is a connection with a profile and that someone in the world understands how you feel.

This blog I have no idea whether it maybe consistent or not though, I hope you find this possibly insightful at times, there maybe some ranting here and there and mostly just a humorous blog that was just meant to be fun and silly.